The phone call

The phone came at 10:30 pm on November 21, 2012. It was Bob's brother telling us that our beloved grandma Lu was dead. She died peacefully in her own home which is what she wanted. I had promised her years before that she would "never get locked away and forgotten " in a nursing home. It was something that at age 93, she worried about. She was in good health right to the end only briefly mentioning that morning to me that she felt a little tired and was going to take a nap. She said she would call me later but that call never came. Something that I had mentioned to Bob as we got into bed that night only to receive the call from his brother 25 mins later. The next few days are a blur to me. Thanksgiving came and went and all I could think about was a conversation grandma and I had just days before she passed away. "I will make the pies this year" she told me. She was so happy that we were now living so close to her. She loved the kids so much and was looking forward to spending more time with them. The chaos following grandma's death and funeral arrangements when dealing with Bob's mother are something I would wish on no one. Not only had we just weeks before dealt with the loss of our home, all our belongings, the two dogs, then moving 3.5 hours from "home", plus the loss of grandma Lu - the woman who basically raised my husband - now we were having to deal with my drug addict mother in law who couldn't be bothered to show up on time to the funeral directors meeting to plan her own mother's funeral. My husband and his brother went to the meeting and made the arrangements only to then have them changed later that day by my mother in law. What a mess. The funeral was very uncomfortable with family tensions running very high. During the whole funeral all I wanted to do was stand up and scream "what is wrong with you people! We should be celebrating this wonderful womans life not fighting over petty things." But I remained silent. Bob and I and our children decided we would honor grandma Lu in our own way. No one can take away all the special memories we have of the times we spent together. After grandma was taken from us so suddenly, I felt more alone than ever. The only person the kids and I really knew here in Jamestown was gone. I felt like I had lost my best friend.